you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
