areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
