i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
