accomplished twins. life is a go
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
