ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
