We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
