You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
