i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Can Purell be used as lube?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
