And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Randomize
