when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
