first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
