sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
