I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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