My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
