They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
