So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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