I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
