why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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