Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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