is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
