hotel room ftw
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
