Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
