You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
