I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
