I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
