Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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