I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
