woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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