I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
