hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Even my vagina gasped.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
