WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
