And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
