THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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