How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
PANTIES FOUND
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