Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
