we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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