Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
