She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
