North Korea, Best Korea!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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