I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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