Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
