I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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