Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
