Im at strip club and am horny
There r osticjed everywhere
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
