I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need water and some morals
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
