So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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