so that wasnt chicken after all
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
