I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
