He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
