im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
