two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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