Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
