dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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