I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
